And Away We Go

I decided about two years ago to look into gastric bypass surgery or some sort of bariatric surgery. I knew I would need to seek some sort of psychological support, so I saw a therapist for compulsive overeating.  I was a lot thinner…once.  I lost 100 pounds…once.  Then I got hurt on the job and the weight started to go on.  That was 11 years ago.  Counseling was good.  I had some real breakthroughs and after my therapist left for warmer climes, I decided it was time to move forward.

I want to use this blog as a diary of sorts, as I go through this process.  Perhaps it will offer some comfort or assistance to others in the same boat.  Perhaps it will serve only me.  I have no idea.  What I do know is that after 10 days of eating a 1300-calorie a day diabetic diet, I was craving the hell out of a pizza tonight.  I called my mother, who happened to be at a pizza place, to talk me off the ledge.  After a half hour,  I got what I was really looking for, I think: permission to order a pizza.  I realized that the problem was that I didn’t have a firm meal plan for the evening.  I have the groceries in the house.  It was a lack of a plan. I’m reminded of the old saying “Nobody plans to fail; they only fail to plan.” Bingo.

I still ordered the pizza and I feel awful.  I’ll pay for it later with a jump in weight, or acid reflux tonight.  I’ll feel guilt and shame, and hopefully I’ll get back on track tomorrow.  Speaking of tomorrow, hopefully I’ll have a chance to talk about the folks at the weight loss center and how I got there.FullSizeRender


One thought on “And Away We Go

  1. Don’t feel guilty or shame! Look, we are human and I don’t know at all. I just found this blog and I want to end you some encouragement.

    I had my RNY gastric bypass in September of last year. BEST CHOICE I EVER MADE. I had therapy with an eating disorder specialist in 2012 and 2013. It helped a ton but honestly it was a bit of lost cause in many ways. At the time my metabolism was screwed up SO badly that it didn’t really matter what I ate, I wasn’t dropping weight. So, if having pizza made me happy…well eff it, I am having some pizza. Better than being DOUBLE upset about it.

    Now, I can tell you after surgery the therapy was a huge help in dealing with head hunger. I have lost over 100lbs in 5 months. All of my labs are great. I am working on regularly.

    The only thing I suggest is that you get moving if you aren’t already. The more “in shape” you are before surgery the easier it is to move after. So, for now, if your plan allows it…enjoy a “cheat meal” once a week. It will help you feel normal and keep you on track the rest of the week. It will also make it easier to give up once you get to the preop diet if you are required to have one.

    You can do this! It is only a few month window of baby steps and then things get pretty much back to “normal.”

    If you have any questions please hit me up! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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