There are a million little things going on around me. I’m nearing 50. Donald Trump could possibly become president. My iPad is next to me open to Tumblr and my phone is on the other side as I maintain a text conversation with a co-worker. I’m debating texting my ex-girlfriend soon to be current girlfriend while she’s on vacation in Florida (she really needs the time away – her job is really high stress, as is the rest of her life). I applied for a different job in the same department today.
That is not what is getting to me. Yesterday, I posted from an AAU-type sporting event as I was sitting on some bleachers that were killing my back. I talked about needing to have a meal plan for every meal of every day, and sticking to the plan. So last night as I watched Jurassic World (again), I carefully put my menu together. I googled 1200 calorie and all kinds of things came up. I ended up on Pinterest after a time, which was also surprisingly helpful. My menu and my shopping list were ready, in my hardcover notebook. I made sure to put it in my backpack so I’d take it to work and not forget it. Afterwork, I did my shopping. It’s surprising how expensive “fresh” can be. I didn’t even cover the bottom of the grocery cart and it was over $100. But whatever. I need to eat healthy because I am unhealthy and trying to make a change.
I went back out into the cold, loaded my grocers in the car and put my cart away. I was watching a striking woman and her probably 8-year-old daughter make their way to their own car. I am always curious about what people drive for some reason. Like maybe I judge them the same way I judge them by what’s in their grocery cart. Come on, I know you do it too. PostSecret brought that into my consciousness. Thank you Frank Warren. Anyway, I put the cart away, thinking about getting home and making a banana smoothie, which was on the menu because I figured it would be late. I got home, and as I was getting out to bring the groceries into the house, I realized I’d left my notebook, the one with the menu inside, in the grocery cart. At least I hoped so.
I got so upset that rather than make a smoothie, I popped a couple breaded chicken patties in the oven after I got done cutting my strawberries and green onion (not meant for the same meal). When they were done cooking, I brought out 2 potato rolls, cheese slices and chipotle mayo. And they were goooooood. I just could not take the edge off my hunger today. I tried water, I tried cottage cheese. Nothing was working. I felt like the Nutty Professor at the Acupuncturist. Still hungry? UmHmm.
200 calories a pop for the patties alone. But there’s always tomorrow. I am getting discouraged, but I know it’s temporary. I bought a fitness ball at Dicks and I will do crunches in the morning and pushups at night. I take the stairs instead of the elevator, and park farther away. Once it warms up I’ll go outside to walk at lunch. This too shall pass. I just need to stay focused.
I’ll end on a happy note. I called the store, and one of the cart wranglers turned it in, so I will go grab it before work tomorrow. Also, I made myself a menu spreadsheet so that it’s there and not in a notebook that can get left at the store. Sometimes I need to stupid proof myself.