Ready to Stumble

I don’t regret having Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery eleven days ago, because my weight goes down incrementally on a daily basis and the acid reflux attacks have stopped. I do, however, feel like temptation is once again knocking at my door like Cousin Eddie at Christmas.  Yes, that’s right. “Shitter’s full.” Figuratively. Only figuratively.sitters-full

A few days ago, I started smelling buffalo chicken dip. Like everywhere. Last Sunday while watching a little football, a Papa John’s commercial came on introducing their new pan pizza with cheese all the way to the sides. I could feel the crunch in my mouth. I could smell the vegetables. Today, also while watching a little football, KFC ran a commercial touting their popcorn chicken. I could smell the chicken, taste the crunch and feel the chicken juice on my tongue. It’s an almost Water Mitty-ish moment. I’m not supposed to have hunger pains, and yet I can feel it almost pushing through. walter-mitty

Is the answer, “Stop watching football?” That’s not going to happen. Resist? I don’t have much of a choice. I suppose I could go to KFC and get a little popcorn chicken. Keep in mind though that it’s only been 11 days. I’m still on shakes, semi-solid snacks, and liquids. Ugh. The shakes. I so, SO sick to damn death of shakes. Chocolate in particular. I am desperate for a change. I had spent $62 on Opurity multivitamins and protein powder. I like the vitamins. The powder is far too sweet for me. I just don’t like it. So I’m back into the EAS Whey powder (chocolate, of course) I was drinking prior to surgery. I’ve been asked by the surgeon and the Nurse Practitioner at the program to add Miralax and Colace to the mix for help…down below. But when I taste it, I want to spit it all back out.puke

I want the smell of chicken or fish. The texture. THE TASTE. I want to prepare a meal. I’ve been looking at some bariatric cooking blogs I’ll share with you after I start making the recipes, to let you know how they are.  They sure do look good.

Nutritionist on Wednesday, where hopefully she will advance me to stage 4, ground protein foods. That will be nice for Thanksgiving. Stage 4 would last until a little before Christmas, and then I’ll be introducing regular foods back into my diet. Good regular foods, not pizza or fried chicken. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go scramble some egg whites.winning


Could it be?

Could it be that I have not posted in over a month, while both of you readers have been clamoring for more?  A thousand apologies!  To say it’s been busy would be an understatement.  Where to begin…

I had reached a plateau weight-wise.  My dietician told be to maybe add some calories, so I added more protein to the menu, and it seemed to jump start the weight loss. I’ll be honest, I’d love to be further down in numbers, but I keep self-sabotaging because I’m spending more time on the road.  I know, I know..I need to plan for that and make adjustments.  I do, and then I see those golden arches and I’m McScrewing myself.McSick

The nurse practitioner seems pleased with my progress.  She keeps asking me when my surgery is ballpark for, and I tell her September/October, because my insurance company seems to be fairly surly and unapproachable on this subject. I’ve registered in United Healthcare’s “center of excellence” program, and while Portsmouth Hospital is not one of their centers of excellence, it is in network, which is akin to not having Ebola, but a slight case of Zika instead.  In other words, to them, I suck but I don’t suck as much as the guy who is going to Bob’s Weight Loss Clinic of Duluth or something.

I have finished my behavioral health classes, which were great, and so now have the dietician and NP visits every month or so, labs, which I got done today, and a few other tests, then a short class a few weeks prior to the surgery, and I will attend the monthly pre-op support groups because I like them.  I kept saying if I lost all the weight I would;t get the surgery, but with the acid reflux, I feel like I have to.  That and separating my brain from my stomach are the two biggest draws.  Not to worry – I am not going to lose all the weight (see paragraph 2).  Think About It

I am going to buy a bicycle, a hybrid mountain bike.  Dick’s has a nice Diamondback I like for under $500.  If I can find the recommended model I read about in an online magazine, I may go to a bike shop to see of they have it or will order it.  A few more weeks and I’m on it.  Medically, my back has been giving me all kinds of trouble.  The lower back, on either side of the spine, out to the middle of either half of my back.  It’s almost debilitating.  I really need to see a chiropractor unless one of you has better advice (that is my plea to you to tell me what you think).  I got a FitBit a week or so ago, and it has already got me hooked.  We had a fire drill at work today, and my first thought was not, I wonder of this is actually a drill?”  No, it was, “Awesome!  I get to add some steps AND some stairs!!”  That is the right kind of thinking.  I unintentionally did 4 miles last weekend on my walk, and posted my best times per mile.  The times kept dropping with each successive mile.  I loved it.  I’m using the Map My Walk app, and I listen to Nikki Glazer’s Not Safe podcast, which is a riot, and lasts for just the amount of time I am supposed to be out.Dick's

That’s it of tonight, I think.  It’s late, my thoughts are scattered because I am writing a song and lyrics keep running through my head.  That’s my sign that it’s time to head upstairs, put the floor AC unit in and hit the hay.  Next time I will discuss the misnamed sleep study I took at the beginning of the month.


Restaurant Eating is Going to be the Death of Me

I just balanced my checkbook and realized how much I ate out over the last three weeks. So rather than blog about my journey here (I really dislike the word and its overuse), I apparently went out eating.  So, sorry.  Like you were hanging on every word…

I have an appointment with the dietician tomorrow.  The conventional wisdom is that my caloric budget is going to be raised. I wonder if I’ll have the guts to tell her I’ve beat her to it and done it myself.  Friday I have an appointment with the program psychologist.  I’m looking forward to both visits.  It will be interesting to see what the next stages bring.

I got a very nice compliment from a co-worker today.  I walked in to my office, and my co-worker, who usually starts in with things to do before I even get my coat off (note to reader: NOT the way I like to start my day), says, “Hey, I don’t want you to get a big head or anything…” I was wondering where this was going.  She continued: “…but you really look like you’re losing weight. I can see it in your face, and your head is getting smaller.  You had a big ol’ fat head.”  Just take a moment and bask in the glow of that statement.

I have lost weight. My head is getting smaller.  I can feel my waistline shrinking.  My unused belt loops are seeing some action, which is fun for them.  I really need to be careful about doing so much eating out.  Not sure if I told you all, but I bought a diabetic cookbook at Barnes & Noble.  I’ve made two dishes from it and LOVE them!  Last night (and tonight) I had Chicken and Spinach Avocado Lime Salad.  Homemade dressing that is FANTASTIC…I can’t wait to have more for lunch.  Red, orange and yellow mini peppers, thinly sliced red onion, tomato…it is SO good.  Perhaps I’ll post that recipe, giving full credit to the publishers of course.

Time for bed.  I have an interview tomorrow for a promotion.  Not sure how good my prospects are, but I am cautiously hopeful.  If I don’t get it, I am not going to let disappointment drive me to the buffet table. I am gainfully employed, I have a great family, people who love me, and it’s time to make changes.  Those changes have to last for the rest of my life, regardless of what life throws at me.

Bring it on.