Ready to Stumble

I don’t regret having Roux-en-Y gastric bypass surgery eleven days ago, because my weight goes down incrementally on a daily basis and the acid reflux attacks have stopped. I do, however, feel like temptation is once again knocking at my door like Cousin Eddie at Christmas.  Yes, that’s right. “Shitter’s full.” Figuratively. Only figuratively.sitters-full

A few days ago, I started smelling buffalo chicken dip. Like everywhere. Last Sunday while watching a little football, a Papa John’s commercial came on introducing their new pan pizza with cheese all the way to the sides. I could feel the crunch in my mouth. I could smell the vegetables. Today, also while watching a little football, KFC ran a commercial touting their popcorn chicken. I could smell the chicken, taste the crunch and feel the chicken juice on my tongue. It’s an almost Water Mitty-ish moment. I’m not supposed to have hunger pains, and yet I can feel it almost pushing through. walter-mitty

Is the answer, “Stop watching football?” That’s not going to happen. Resist? I don’t have much of a choice. I suppose I could go to KFC and get a little popcorn chicken. Keep in mind though that it’s only been 11 days. I’m still on shakes, semi-solid snacks, and liquids. Ugh. The shakes. I so, SO sick to damn death of shakes. Chocolate in particular. I am desperate for a change. I had spent $62 on Opurity multivitamins and protein powder. I like the vitamins. The powder is far too sweet for me. I just don’t like it. So I’m back into the EAS Whey powder (chocolate, of course) I was drinking prior to surgery. I’ve been asked by the surgeon and the Nurse Practitioner at the program to add Miralax and Colace to the mix for help…down below. But when I taste it, I want to spit it all back out.puke

I want the smell of chicken or fish. The texture. THE TASTE. I want to prepare a meal. I’ve been looking at some bariatric cooking blogs I’ll share with you after I start making the recipes, to let you know how they are.  They sure do look good.

Nutritionist on Wednesday, where hopefully she will advance me to stage 4, ground protein foods. That will be nice for Thanksgiving. Stage 4 would last until a little before Christmas, and then I’ll be introducing regular foods back into my diet. Good regular foods, not pizza or fried chicken. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go scramble some egg whites.winning


Restaurant Eating is Going to be the Death of Me

I just balanced my checkbook and realized how much I ate out over the last three weeks. So rather than blog about my journey here (I really dislike the word and its overuse), I apparently went out eating.  So, sorry.  Like you were hanging on every word…

I have an appointment with the dietician tomorrow.  The conventional wisdom is that my caloric budget is going to be raised. I wonder if I’ll have the guts to tell her I’ve beat her to it and done it myself.  Friday I have an appointment with the program psychologist.  I’m looking forward to both visits.  It will be interesting to see what the next stages bring.

I got a very nice compliment from a co-worker today.  I walked in to my office, and my co-worker, who usually starts in with things to do before I even get my coat off (note to reader: NOT the way I like to start my day), says, “Hey, I don’t want you to get a big head or anything…” I was wondering where this was going.  She continued: “…but you really look like you’re losing weight. I can see it in your face, and your head is getting smaller.  You had a big ol’ fat head.”  Just take a moment and bask in the glow of that statement.

I have lost weight. My head is getting smaller.  I can feel my waistline shrinking.  My unused belt loops are seeing some action, which is fun for them.  I really need to be careful about doing so much eating out.  Not sure if I told you all, but I bought a diabetic cookbook at Barnes & Noble.  I’ve made two dishes from it and LOVE them!  Last night (and tonight) I had Chicken and Spinach Avocado Lime Salad.  Homemade dressing that is FANTASTIC…I can’t wait to have more for lunch.  Red, orange and yellow mini peppers, thinly sliced red onion, tomato…it is SO good.  Perhaps I’ll post that recipe, giving full credit to the publishers of course.

Time for bed.  I have an interview tomorrow for a promotion.  Not sure how good my prospects are, but I am cautiously hopeful.  If I don’t get it, I am not going to let disappointment drive me to the buffet table. I am gainfully employed, I have a great family, people who love me, and it’s time to make changes.  Those changes have to last for the rest of my life, regardless of what life throws at me.

Bring it on.